Having It All

There is a myth disseminated throughout the film, The Devil Wears Prada, that woman cannot have it all. They cannot have a successful career and a successful and fulfilling relationship[1] simultaneously. Yet for men, ‘having it all’[2] is possible. What this breeds is a double standard where women are considered incapable with having both a successful career and a healthy relationship or family, while men are celebrated, congratulated and encouraged to have both. This paper will explore how Hollywood discursively promotes the incompatibility between women and the idea of having it all. Furthermore, this paper briefly examines how the masculine ideology of ‘having it all’ is simply a reaffirmation of a patriarchal system but if deconstructed through a feminist lens, women could redefine what it means to ‘have it all’.

For years Hollywood has created films that convey the message to women that having a career and raising a family simultaneously is unachievable and has done this in such a way that makes the feminist movement appear as a failed project.[3] In fact, feminism has often been touted as a “rejection of conservative values” (77),[4] and some postmodernists would argue that the feminist movement “failed to provide women with happiness and equality” (78).[5] Most Hollywood movies have continued to support this idea by creating storylines that illustrate the tension between being a successful career woman and having a relationship. For women in film, having a career means being alone while having a family and being a wife means having no career. Female characters are portrayed as incapable of managing or negotiating these two environments and so must choose between them. If a woman is career obsessed and challenges the status quo, as Marshall suggests, then she is considered a “bad woman” (81)[6], and a “larger-than-life demon” (81).[7] A strong, powerful and successful woman also “threatens a man’s masculinity and therefore risks losing her relationship” (87).[8] Yet, if she chooses to be the faithful wife devoted to her relationship and her family then she is considered a “good woman” (82),[9] and a “good and loyal wife” (83),[10] who abides by the status quo. A “career-obsessed woman experiences loss: control of career means loss of control of family, and the notion that woman succeeding in their careers reinforce the dangerous assumptions that all ‘bad’ mothers are ‘devils’“(87).[11] The notion of having it all is based within a masculine ideology. For men, having it all is never questioned. For men who strive for the successful career and happy home life, having it all is a very real and attainable goal. Yet a woman with the same goals and aspirations is reminded time and time again it is just not possible. In the film, The Devil Wears Prada, the two main characters are faced with this dilemma and the audience becomes a salient witness to this scheme. To be a successful career girl, Andy Sachs, an assistant to fashion mogul Miranda Priestly, must give up her non-work relationships. For Miranda, maintaining a successful career means alienating her family and ultimately destroying her marriage. As Marshall suggests, “successful women are devils and home wreckers, successful men are seen as successful and free from backlash and unfavorable consequences” (88).[12]   The idea of having it all is an idea that has been constructed within a masculine ideology steeped in patriarchy. In this ideology, women are caregivers and homemakers while men have autonomy and freedom outside the home. Furthermore, if having it all is what determines success then perhaps there needs to be a new definition of success. Having it all within a masculine ideology means women will continue to fail at achieving this type of success. And although the film, The Devil Wears Prada, does challenge the expected norms for women by bringing awareness to the double standard that exists between men and women,[13] it still insinuates that a healthy relationship and a successful career are incompatible.

To conclude, what needs to happen within Hollywood cinema and in society is the creation of a new pedagogy that redefines having it all through a feminist lens. In this way, there is the possibility of establishing new parameters so that success in both a career and in a relationship is a natural and normalized synthesis of womanhood.

 

NOTES

[1] Erika M. Thomas, “Punishing Unfaithful Wives and Working Mothers: Messages of Postfeminism in Contemporary Film.” In Ruggerio, A., Media Depictions of Brides, Wives and Mothers, New York: Lexington Books, 2012: 77-90.

[2] Ibid., 78.

[3] Ibid., 78.

[4] Ibid., 77.

[5] Ibid., 78.

[6] Ibid., 81.

[7] Ibid., 81.

[8] Ibid., 87.

[9] Ibid., 82.

[10] Ibid., 83.

[11] Ibid., 87.

[12] Ibid., 88.

[13] Ibid., 88.

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